I have known since I was little girl that I wanted to stay home and raise a family. When teachers would ask what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would always say “a mom.” It’s what my mother and grandmother did, and it’s what I want too!
Now if being a SAHM isn’t for you thats totally cool, too. (no shame here!)
But if you have always dreamed of being at home with your kids (or heck even if you only decided AFTER having kids that you wanted to stay home) you may have some negotiating to do with the man in your life.
I recently decided it was time to have a conversation with my finacee about me staying home with the kids. It went…well…. rocky at first to say the least. So here is how I changed his mind….
Do Your Research
This is where I messed up the first time around. I woke him up at 7 am, and told him I wanted to stay home with the kids. BIG MISTAKE! I had all of my emotional reasons ready, but I had nothing that showed how we could accomplish it. So the best thing you can do is be prepared.
Get yourself a budget. You will need to have your total monthly expenses, plus both of your bring home incomes. I used the Mint.com budget, because it was pretty idiot proof! The next step is really important. Make a list of exactly how much your job COSTS (Yes! It costs money to work). Write down how much you spend each month on gas, daycare, eating lunch, coffee, new clothes, etc. I am willing to bet you are spending way more than you thought just to go to work every day!
Making It on One Income
Next you will need to see if his income will cover your family’s expenses. This is where it might get a little tricky. I can guarantee you the first time you do this it’s going to look like you can’t afford to stay at home, but if you really want it you CAN make it work. As a society we spend WAY too much money on stuff we don’t need.
So here are some ways to cut down on your expenses:
- Call service providers (cell phone, internet, cable, insurance) to see if you can get a better rate.
- Get rid of cable altogether. Who needs cable with Netflix and Hulu!!
- Trade in your new bada** car for an older well taken care of model.
- Make a meal plan and only go grocery shopping twice a month. This will cut down your expenses big time. Plus you wont have to go out to eat, because you have nothing to cook.
- Look into ways to make money from home. (etsy, transcription, MLM, or babysitting)
Seal the Deal
At this point you probably have your man at least thinking it might work, and here is where your womanly wiles come into play. Now that you have all of the logistical reasons out of the way, its time to bring those emotional reasons up. There are so many benefits when it comes to being a SAHM, and you need to make him see those also.
Why is being at home best for YOUR family?
- Always having someone to take the kids to appointments (doctors, dentist, etc.)
- Instilling YOUR family’s values into your children, not the baby sitters/daycare.
- Plus your kids will not get sick as often when they arent exposed to day care germs!
- Having home cooked meals everynight.
- Always having someone home if the kids are sick, and we all know kids get sick A LOT!
- Being involved in your kid’s school.
- Eating Healthier. (Less eating out!)
- Less work around the house for your husband, because you will be there to get most of the household stuff done during the day.
- You will be able to spend more time together on the evenings and weekend, because you will be able to get all of the ‘chores’ done during the week.
Quite honestly I could go on and on about the benefits, and how being a SAHM will help your family. Its going to be important for you to sit down, and make a list of why you being home is best. Be honest and sincere.
Becoming a SAHM is going to be one of the most important decisions your family ever makes. It will take some sacrifice, but I really believe that it is a possibility for every family.
Again this choice isn’t right for every family. If you are happy at your job, stick with it. No matter what…. Just remember: YOU ARE DOING AN AMAZING JOB!
I would love to hear how YOU convinced your man that being a Stay-At-Home-Mom was best!!